you can have freedom or control. choose one. —Stuart Delony
Which is more important to you?
I’ve spent most of my life trying to be “in control.” For those who experienced trauma early in life, this behavior is often rooted in survival instinct – we did what we needed to do to stay safe in the moment. Unfortunately this pattern tends to endure even after we’re removed from the danger that initially triggered it, like a muscle that involuntarily contracts and stays that way. Controlling versus allowing, like the charlie-horse in your calf that wakes you from a sound sleep, is painful and counterproductive. Controlling is about being afraid – allowing is about trusting.