It’s been just over a year since my last post. In that time I’ve experienced some dramatic highs and lows, and return now to ground zero to begin rebuilding.
When I was younger, writing helped me through difficult times by providing an outlet for feelings I couldn’t or didn’t know how to express otherwise.
I did not fear the night when I was younger
Back to maple, eyes to full moon above
Dreaming of all I was to become
of places far
and love all-consuming
As years have come and gone
Scars have grown in number
Sometimes I touch them and remember the pain
When once so easy to pick myself up and try again
Now my will has waned
The voice inside tells me, “There is always a way.”
And so here I sit, pen in had, looking for a way
out of this crippling apathy
Lately, when gripped by the terrible fear that I no longer know how to pick myself up and start again, I’ve remembered the power of gratitude. No matter how down I am, no matter how alone or desperate I feel, focusing on even one thing I’m thankful for has been my lifeline out of the consuming darkness of apathy and self-pity. As I hold this focus of gratitude longer, I begin to remember more and more that I’m thankful for.
If you ever feel this way, please join me in doing this exercise, which I’ve recommitted to doing daily. Find that one thing you’re grateful for and write it down! Feel deep gratitude as you look at what you’ve written, and then keep writing! Together we will stop living in our heads and remember how to live in our hearts, for as Little Grandmother says, NOW IS THE TIME.